Love Story - Update 2/25/2012

I greatly appreciate those of you who have written me since I posted the story of our neighbor, Tanya, who has lung cancer. I have made several attempts over the last week to visit with her again and had either not been able to catch her at home or feeling well enough for a visitor. I was able to meet her sister who was sitting with her one day when I arrived. On Saturday, as my husband and I were preparing to go on weekly visitation, I felt the Lord wanted me to go try again to visit with Tanya in order to witness to her more directly. As I walked over to her house, Sasha (her husband) was leaving to pick up her son and grandson as they had just returned from a trip. I talked to him a minute as he was shutting the gates to leave the house and he told me she was alone at home and told me to go on in to visit with her. At that point, I thanked the Lord for the open door and chance to talk with her, one on one, praying for God to give me the words to say.

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I find it really difficult to know exactly what to say to Tanya during my visits. Even as a nurse it is sad to see someone in so much pain and discomfort, day after day. Spiritually, I have the Word of God, out of which I can share God's amazing love and grace that can give her the peace of heart she unknowingly longs for. But, when you talk to someone who, as she put it, has been told since childhood that she doesn't need God, it is hard to know where to begin. This is one of the many times when I beg God for wisdom as we talk and pray for Him to prick her heart that it might be opened and tender to receive the truth. Directing the conversation to the Bible, this dear lady who is from all appearances dying of cancer, did not want me to show her how she could KNOW she had a home in Heaven for all eternity. Maybe it was that she was in not so great of a mood, feeling weak from the day before's chemotherapy. 

But, for whatever reason at this point, her heart is still hard. 

I spent a bit more time with her enjoying the quiet time with her and listening to her intently as she talked about: her grandson who gets scared when he sees her without a hat on but makes her a cup of tea on his own, first thing upon his arrival to Grandma's; her son, who is always bringing her herbal teas or some sort of medicine that "might help", her friends who call wanting to visit after she has just returned home from a chemo. treatment and doesn't have the energy for anything. I think she does feel that she can at least share her heart with me about how tough this whole experience is for her and her family. She seems relaxed as we talk and I pray it is therapeutic for her to laugh, cry, and share her disgust with the care she receives all in the same visit.

 As I left this time, she apologized for not being super excited to visit with anyone, some days even with her own son, she tells me.  I leaned over to hug her and kiss her on the head, telling her I don't expect her to want to visit but I will continue to come if she wants me to. 

She smiles at me and says, "Come back and visit with me again."

I remind myself God can do a work in anyone's heart.

I want Him to use me to shine His love in this dark spot...right by my house.

A Love Story

I remember a few years ago, during our annual VBS program, a lady who walked into the main foyer of the cultural building and boldly asked (with a grin on her face), "Why didn't you invite your neighbors?" I honestly didn't know who the lady was, where she lived, and I didn't recognize her grandson who had walked in with her. I  thought and thought about whose wife she might be and how she could be our neighbor if I knew all the neighbors on each side and across the street from us! I quickly let her know that our kids themselves had taken handfuls of invitations outside with them to invite children to VBS and asked her forgiveness for "forgetting" to invite her grandson. She smiled and continued to sit in the foyer while we signed the children up and listened to their verses for the day.

I finally found out that she was the wife of a man my husband had talked much with who lives on the next street that runs perpendicular to ours. I had just never seen them together in order to know they were each other's spouses. Tanya and Sasha are their names. Sasha can very often be found on his tractor plowing fields for those who live on our street. We have hired him several times to do some dirt moving work. He is a nice man who loves children. He is so sweet to give our boys rides in his tractor or even to stop and play with them if they are out in the soccer field across the street from our house. His wife, Tanya, could best be described as a spunky little lady with lots of personality. She doesn't come out much to visit with neighbors or anyone. She is just busy about her own business. 

Last year, when we held our first Ladies Tea celebrating the 8th of March, I tried to invite Tanya. I went to her house with an invitation but no one was home. I left the invitation and tried to come back later but still was not able to catch her home. The day of the Tea arrived and Tanya came! 

Below are a few photos of Tanya while she was picking out a flower pin I had made for each of the ladies to take home.

Tanya meticulously choosing the proper color of flower to take home.

Tanya joking with the other ladies.

Last year, when I talked to her about their grandson attending VBS, she told me that she had been sick and in the hospital. But, she didn't tell me it was anything serious. 

We spent some time with them both during a few memorial dinners for a neighbor who had passed away this past year. I noticed that Tanya had a constant cough as we sat and visited with them. Later I heard from another neighbor that they found out that she had cancer. I didn't know the full story or even what type of cancer.

Between New Year's Day and the Russian Christmas our kids and I bake cookies to hand out to neighbors and other businesses and offices in the village. I took some cookies to Sasha and Tanya this year for the first time. When I walked in I immediately noticed Tanya's slimmer appearance and hat to hide the hair loss from chemotherapy. As she and I stood there and chatted a minute (while David chatted outside with Sasha), she shared with me how she had cancer twenty years ago, had surgery and chemo, and now they had found it in her lungs. She talked about the woman she "used to be" compared to what she is now. With tears streaming down her face she said, "I don't go anywhere or talk to anyone. I don't let anyone in to see me. But, if you want to, you can come visit me." She apologized for crying when I just came in to bring her cookies and I promised her I would come back. I walked away from her door almost numb and trying not to cry since I knew her husband, Sasha, was sitting in our car talking with my husband. He smiled to me as usual and we left.

I came back the next week to visit with Tanya and Sasha was home with their grandson. I talked a bit with Tanya to try to get an idea of her treatment plan and what the doctors were saying. She said that her sixth treatment was due but it had been delayed for several weeks for many different reasons. The doctors told her that so far there had been no improvement with the chemotherapy. She was to go in the next weekend for the sixth treatment and after that the doctors would complete the PET scan and necessary tests and re-evaluate her treatment. Sasha later told me that might mean just send her home to receive no further treatment. After talking a bit with Tanya, she needed to lie down to rest. I left her to go into the kitchen and visit with her grandson and Sasha over tea. 

Praise the Lord for a great opportunity to witness to Sasha. He shared his heart with me and how he can't imagine life without his wife of twenty-nine years. I found out from him that she hardly eats anything and keeps talking to him about his life after she passes away. She keeps talking about living until March of this year. Sasha shared how he just sits with her by her side day after day, preparing meals for her all throughout the day to try to encourage her to eat. He hasn't been working recently and now knows he can't leave her side. I was amazed by his faithfulness in his wife's time of need. Sasha's care is far from the "norm" here in most homes you visit. He continued to share that it is so hard for him some days he just has to leave the house and take a walk in the nearby woods to clear his mind. Tanya had told me that often he just sits and cries. He showed me package after package of pills the local doctors had given him to calm his nerves. I shared with him that only Jesus can give him that peace he is searching for and can not find himself. Praise the Lord for His "peace that passeth all understanding"! I invited him to services or even to come to our house to spend some time talking to David. He hasn't come yet. David did try to invite him to attend a sporting event in the city but Sasha couldn't make it because he had to sell potatoes that day to help support their family.

Tanya has had her sixth chemotherapy treatment. Lord willing, I will be going to visit her in the next few days to see what the doctors plan to do further. Please pray for God to give me the exact words to say in this situation and that He would soften Sasha and Tanya's hearts that they would accept His wonderful gift of salvation.